The Llama Ledger - Bard College at Simon's Rock's Student Newspaper

How do I deal with having both a roommate and a sex life?

Talk to your roommate about things like when you'll let each other claim the room and how you'll communicate that you're having sex (a locked door can be enough, a hair tie or rubber band on the knob is classic). It's likely to get more awkward if you wait until after you get sexiled or walked-in on. A good time to casually bring things up is while filling out your roommate contract.

If there's a problem, say something, but approach the situation reasonably and suggest a workable compromise. Your roommate's less likely to listen if it sounds like you're telling them not to have sex, but they'll be more receptive if you offer something too. Like: "I could take my work to the library a couple nights a week if you stop locking me out when I'm just taking a shower."

If you want to be a little subtler, help your roommate work around you by posting your class schedule on the wall and letting them know when you'll be gone for a while. If your roommate won't compromise or you can't bring yourself to talk to them, you might want to try meeting with your PA or RD.

If you're having sex, there are a number of things you can do to be more considerate. Don't have sex when your roommate is in the room, even sleeping, unless they have clearly consented. Assuming that's not the case, the best thing you can do, if it's possible and they appreciate it, is tell your roommate ahead of time when you're going to have sex.

You can also try to have sex when your roommate shouldn't be around. Or you can occupy the room less by exploring new places to have sex, like the shower or Siberia (the fields behind Fisher), or inconveniencing your partner's roommate equally.

Locking the door can be an effective way to say you're having sex, but it can also be confusing. If you haven't talked about it, your roommate might not understand—don't forget they have a key. And if the room gets locked accidentally or because you're changing, it might keep your roommate away needlessly.

You should pay attention to when your roommate has big papers or exams and be especially thoughtful during these times, when they might need a quiet space and their books. You can also keep it fair by letting your roommate have time alone in the room too, regardless of what they want to use it for: sex with someone else, sex with themself, or even just listening to bad music.

What sorts of birth control are available at Simon's Rock?

The school's health plan, which all students are on, fully covers a wide variety of contraceptives (and full STI screenings). Condoms are available for anyone to take and nurses can provide other contraceptives and more information. They're all free, and your parents won't be informed. The health plan can also cover $250 towards the cost of an abortion, and our nurses can refer you to a clinic.

Condoms are available in dorms and at health services, where they're found in the waiting room in fishbowls and drawers, often along with small tubes of lubricant. Condoms are the only contraceptive method that protects you from HIV and other STIs. They are about 87% effective in preventing pregnancy, and can also be used in conjunction with other methods.

Health services can also fit you for a diaphragm, a rubber cap that fits over your cervix and is usually used in conjunction with spermicide. Diaphragms are about as effective as condoms, but are reusable.

Birth control pills are kept in stock at health services. You will have to answer a few questions about your health, but you can walk out with a pack. If you prefer a different brand, they can be ordered from the pharmacy in town. The pill can have mixed side effects, which can vary by type. If you take them every day at the same time, they are about 98% effective. With less regularity, the effectiveness drops to about 92%.

Health services can also get you a hormonal patch, which is placed in a discreet place on the skin and changed weekly, Nuvaring, a hormone-containing ring which is inserted into the vagina monthly, or Depo Provera, a quarterly shot. These methods require less diligence than the pill, but regular use is still important. Side effects are similar to those of the pill. The ring occasionally can slip out without being noticed. The shot suppresses menstruation, but spotting is common. Used correctly, the patch and ring are 98% effective, the shot 99%.

The morning after pill (Plan B) is available if you have unprotected sex or if your condom breaks or slips. It can be used up to 72 hours after intercourse, though it is more effective if used sooner. Plan B is less effective than other methods and often causes nausea and other unpleasant side effects, so it shouldn't be used as primary contraception.

Health services cannot insert an IUD, but can refer you to a midwife in town. The procedure, also fully covered by the health plan, places a small t-shaped device in the uterus. There are two IUDs available; one lasts five years and releases hormones, which thicken cervical mucous and thin the uterine lining, the other lasts ten and contains copper, which kills sperm. IUD insertion is painful, and IUDs can cause prolonged spotting, worsen cramping, or make your period irregular. The copper IUD is 99.2% effective and the hormone-releasing IUD, the most effective contraceptive on the market, is 99.8%.