The Llama Ledger - Bard College at Simon's Rock's Student Newspaper

Premedicine major Kat Corcoran and creative writing major Dan Copulsky have tentatively agreed about what to call their potential first child. The Llama Sutra delights in answering your questions about sex and relationships, which can be sent to sutra@llamaledger.com, through this form (no need to provide any personal information), or placed in the box in the snack bar. Questions will be published anonymously.

I find consensual, non-masturbatory relations to be trite. Would it be rude to suggest my partner pretend she doesn’t like being involved?

We think people should be open with their partners about their sexual needs and desires. And we think partners should be respectful of each other’s kinks even if they aren’t interested or eager to indulge them, though that is an honorable thing to do. But not everyone will respond so well. You run a risk of her not appreciating the idea, and there’s a fair chance she won’t be interested. But maybe she’ll be into it too.

What kinds of STD tests are done on campus?

All of them!

Health services can test you if you’re having symptoms that make you think you might have an STI, and they can do a screening test if you don’t have any symptoms but want to make sure you’re STI free. Screenings are a good idea whenever you have a new partner because it is possible to be infected with STIs and not have any symptoms.

Common things to get tested for are HPV (the virus that causes genital warts), syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis, trichomoniasis, and HIV. It is also possible to test for herpes, but that test is not very accurate unless you have an active sore that can be swabbed.

Scabies and body lice are sexually transmissible, but produce itching and, in the case of scabies, a rash, so screening for them if you don’t have symptoms is generally unnecessary. Other STIs may be tested for if you have symptoms that don’t seem to be caused by something more common.

Blood tests, urine tests, and genital swabs are used to detect various STIs.

What is the best way to ask for a threesome?

The difficult thing about asking for a threesome is that you have to ask at least two people.

If you’re in a relationship with someone, you should approach them first, see if they are interested, and then consider possible third parties. You should agree on third parties before you start seeing if they are interested, to keep things as simple as possible.

If you’re not in a relationship, you should carefully choose who you want to approach first. If the first person who agrees is picky, or isn’t appealing to potential thirds, it might be difficult to find a working group, or to politely leave the first person behind for another set. It might be simpler to approach both people at once, but it might also be more uncomfortable.

Asking people to do anything sexual can always be awkward. You can try to do it straightforwardly, but there’s no guarantee it won’t be weird afterwards, particularly if they say no.

Some subtlety can help. Try to at least figure out whether they’d participate in any threesomes, or whether they’d have sex at all, before asking them to participate in something particular.

Is it safe to take Longitude or other male enhancement products?

In short, no.

“Male enhancement” pills are not tested for safety, nor are they tested for effectiveness. Analyses that have been done of pills like this have found mold, E. coli, lead, and fecal matter from animals that graze where the herbs are grown. Is it worth eating that?

Perhaps more importantly, there’s no reason for which anyone should be taking such pills. At most, medications can make it easier to get an erection, and if you’re having frequent trouble with that, you should get yourself to health services to make sure nothing’s physically or psychologically wrong with you.

But these supplements don’t advertise better erections, they advertise a larger penis. Nothing short of surgery will make your penis bigger, and even that doesn’t tend to work very well. Longitude isn’t being made anymore, but we don’t recommend that you try any male enhancement pills or devices.

Drugs like Viagra are used to treat erectile dysfunction, but are not considered to be male enhancement products. They probably won’t help your erection if you’re young, and can cause unpleasant side effects like bad headaches.

There are a couple things that should make you worry less about length though. Studies where erection has been clinically induced and measured by health care professionals have found an average penis length of just over 5 inches, which is much smaller than averages obtained through self-reported data. Given that the first couple of inches of the vagina are the most sensitive and that the prostate gland is just a couple of inches into the rectum, a big penis is unnecessary for purposes of physical stimulation.

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