Column: To hook up, be hooked up, and hook up with
by Alexi Shaw | Columbia Daily Spectator (Columbia University)
Issue date: 9/24/08 Section: Opinion
(U-WIRE) — Young folk seem to love to hook-up. They certainly use the phrase often, perhaps more often than they perform the act. Weekly? Perhaps bi-monthly. Well, it's often enough that the term describing the act merits discussion.
Years ago, when nascent teenage breasts were the objects of my desire, hooking-up meant kissing, or an occasional booby caress. We pubescent pimple-Toms didn't use the word "kiss" just as we couldn't use the word "beautiful." Too sexually squeamish to kiss beautiful women, we hooked-up with hot girls—or, so we dreamed.
Twenty-year-olds use the phrase more arrogantly. Arrogantly, because its meaning has become so vague, assuming cool and casual airs for an act which is usually anything but.
"Yeah, we hooked up," he says, in an impressive baritone. The listener's eyebrows rise: how and where, which base, was it a homer? But the listener keeps quiet, smiling approvingly.
We've moved past open use of the base system, but we still squirm at lost words like "kiss," "romance," and "beauty."
That's because romance has become linguistically and socially taboo, or, worse, ridiculous. It's permissible to mention you hooked-up with so-and-so last night, but not that you "made love."
Not that we'd exhibit truly bad taste when describing a sexual encounter. English has its share of vulgar verbs with the given meaning (to bone, to bang, to nail, to screw), none of which are respectful toward women. Male and female Columbians rightly avoid this crass vocabulary when recounting with whom they've done it. (The meaning of it is, at minimum, French kissing; holding hands didn't make the cut in middle school.) We've opted instead for a flexible phrase—vague, mildly graphic, but decidedly technical. For our purposes, "hooking-up" is superior to "boning," "banging," and "nailing" because it objectifies both parties.
It is a triumph of gender equality. No reputable Jane would jump or bone Bradley, but any honeysuckle Henrietta would hook up with Amir.
Years ago, when nascent teenage breasts were the objects of my desire, hooking-up meant kissing, or an occasional booby caress. We pubescent pimple-Toms didn't use the word "kiss" just as we couldn't use the word "beautiful." Too sexually squeamish to kiss beautiful women, we hooked-up with hot girls—or, so we dreamed.
Twenty-year-olds use the phrase more arrogantly. Arrogantly, because its meaning has become so vague, assuming cool and casual airs for an act which is usually anything but.
"Yeah, we hooked up," he says, in an impressive baritone. The listener's eyebrows rise: how and where, which base, was it a homer? But the listener keeps quiet, smiling approvingly.
We've moved past open use of the base system, but we still squirm at lost words like "kiss," "romance," and "beauty."
That's because romance has become linguistically and socially taboo, or, worse, ridiculous. It's permissible to mention you hooked-up with so-and-so last night, but not that you "made love."
Not that we'd exhibit truly bad taste when describing a sexual encounter. English has its share of vulgar verbs with the given meaning (to bone, to bang, to nail, to screw), none of which are respectful toward women. Male and female Columbians rightly avoid this crass vocabulary when recounting with whom they've done it. (The meaning of it is, at minimum, French kissing; holding hands didn't make the cut in middle school.) We've opted instead for a flexible phrase—vague, mildly graphic, but decidedly technical. For our purposes, "hooking-up" is superior to "boning," "banging," and "nailing" because it objectifies both parties.
It is a triumph of gender equality. No reputable Jane would jump or bone Bradley, but any honeysuckle Henrietta would hook up with Amir.
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