The Llama Ledger - Bard College at Simon's Rock's Student Newspaper

Premedicine major Kat Corcoran and creative writing major Dan Copulsky wouldn’t mind getting more interesting, detailed questions about your complicated personal problems. The Llama Sutra delights in answering your questions about sex and relationships, which can be sent to sutra@llamaledger.com, through this form (no need to provide any personal information), or placed in the box in the snack bar. Questions will be published anonymously.

What is an air embolism and how can it be prevented?

An air embolism is a condition in which an air bubble gets into the blood stream. This can happen very rarely during medical procedures, and can be fatal if a large bubble reaches the heart, but usually doesn’t cause any problems. Under most circumstances, it’s something that only SCUBA divers need to worry about.

Relevant to sex, pregnant women are warned not to let their partners blow large amounts of air into their vaginas during oral sex. This can very rarely cause an air embolism because there is a lot more blood in the vessels around the reproductive organs during pregnancy, and if the pressure of air in the vagina is higher than that in the blood vessels, air can sometimes enter the vessels.

Vaginal penetration and oral sex don’t put you at risk for an air embolism, whether you’re pregnant or not. If you’re very paranoid, don’t let your partner blow air into your vagina (normal breathing is fine), but really this isn’t something you should worry about.

What if he can’t orgasm? What is she can’t orgasm?

It depends what you mean by “can’t orgasm.” If someone’s never had an orgasm before, it’s probably just a question of trying different things to figure out what feels good. A lot of people are most comfortable figuring it out by themselves and then helping their partner to do things right, but if you’re uncomfortable with or don’t enjoy masturbation, you can work with your partner to figure things out, though this requires you to feel really comfortable with them and be ready to communicate.

It’s very common for girls to have trouble reaching orgasm during vaginal penetration. Vaginal penetration can be enjoyable without orgasm, but adding other things (like manual and oral sex, clitoral stimulation, and other forms of pleasurable touching) can make orgasm more likely.

If a guy is having trouble reaching orgasm, it might also be solved trying a different type of stimulation or a different position. In both cases, communication and experimentation are important.

If someone can reach orgasm alone but not with a partner, it is probably caused by anxiety. In both males and females, orgasm is largely a psychological process. If you’re worried about “performing” well, it can be hard to focus on how good something feels.

Recognizing that this is the problem, talking to your partner about it, and becoming more comfortable with your partner and body can help. In an aggravatingly backwards way, enjoying the moment and feeling like you don’t have to orgasm can make it more likely that you will. But if the anxiety is overwhelming, it may be a good idea to talk to a therapist.

The only common physical cause of this problem in young adults is medication. SSRIs (a class of antidepressants that includes Prozac and Zoloft) make it difficult for a lot of people to reach orgasm. Some girls also find that being on birth control pills makes it harder for them to orgasm. Sometimes switching medication can help.

It’s unusual for young adults to have other physical problems that could inhibit orgasm, but it’s possible, so if you can’t reach orgasm under any circumstances, you should go to health services or a doctor about it.

Enkidu's sexual performance in Gilgamesh left me feeling inadequate, what do I do?

First, you need to remember that Gilgamesh is mythological. Enkidu’s sexual performance isn’t even on the same plane of meaning. If you’re taking the story as a threat, you might be taking the events in the story a little too literally. Remember that the characters in Gilgamesh could also walk hundreds of miles in days. 

But you should also work on building up some distance between yourself and the reading you’re doing for class. Keep in mind that what you read isn’t the only point of view and there is a real world all around you. Try to mix your reading for class with some pleasure reading. This is a good thing to start practicing early. Most people start running into trouble with Freud, Nietzsche, and Kafka.

But if you continue struggling with feelings of inadequacy, you should also consider finding someone to talk to (a friend, a parent, a P.A., an R.D., health services, or a therapist).

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